8 Things INFJs Must Remember When They're Feeling Lost In Life
Even the most charismatic and overall happy personality types have their days of feeling lost in life and isolated from the world. Yet for the INFJ, feeling lost is normal. On the bright side, it’s not always considered a bad thing.
So, instead of getting down in the dumps, remind yourself of these 8 things and you’ll realize you have more direction than you think.
1. You have more control than you think
While most INFJs are quite used to the feeling of wonderment and curiosity, sometimes the uneasy lack of groundedness that comes with these familiar feelings can cause them to sense a lack of control. Lack of control towards their future projections, as well as their current responsibilities and circumstances.
So, the first and most important thing any INFJ can keep in mind when they’re feeling this lack of groundedness is that they have more control over their lives than they think!
This imaginative type can easily get caught up in the end-result or the questioning of how something will come into fruition, so by bringing their focus back to the control they have in the moment, the path to their desired destination won’t seem so blurry.
2. Loneliness guides you to the truth
Sure, the INFJ personality type doesn’t mind being by themselves. In fact, its not uncommon for them to long for solitude after a long day of playing human in the real world.
However, with a reluctance to mingle or let new people in, this introverted type is also familiar with feeling a little disconnected from social connections and even romantic relationships. In these times, it can be difficult to pinpoint the lesson in the loneliness they endure, especially in the rare instances that they feel sorry for themselves.
However, loneliness serves its purpose in the life of an INFJ, just as all of life’s lessons do. When this personality type in particular is constantly surrounded by people, it not only becomes draining but it can also be used as a subconscious distraction to their self-growth and self-realizations.
In fact, because of their extroverted feeling and sensing functions, when an INFJ surrounds themselves with other people's opinions, actions, and personality traits, they may find that they’re slowly straying away from who they really are.
So, what we’re trying to say is that to an INFJ, loneliness is actually a blessing in disguise. Solitude can be dark and sometimes painful, but it’s in these times that they really see themselves for who they are.
3. Being lost means your finding your way
They say as one door closes, another one opens.. However, when you feel like you’re stuck traveling down a really long hallway to get to that next open door, it’s easy to lose faith. To put it simply, you can’t be lost unless you’re trying to find your way.
so when the future-focused INFJ is stuck in that energy, it’s best to stop and remind themselves of this to take the dread and impatience out of feeling lost. Not to mention, there’s no better mental place for this type to be than to be actively anticipating the excitement in what’s to come.
Similarly to loneliness, times of feeling aimless and sucked of motivation are sometimes the INFJ’s best soul-searching moments. When they’re not distracted from outer circumstances and obligations, this introspective type will naturally go within.
Yet, to avoid an internal whirlpool of “what ifs” and “if nots” it’s best for the INFJ to remember to take ‘down time’ for what it is, remain patient and optimistic, while preparing themselves to open that anticipated door at the end of the hall.
4. Lack of plans = freedom
It’s an innate human feeling to want what we don’t have. Call it greed, or the fact that we can’t help but to think the grass may be greener elsewhere.. No matter how knowledgeable and philosophical the INFJ is, they too fall into this trap more often than they’d like to admit.
The difference is that they usually know better. A great example of this would be when the INFJ observes other people’s social lives. Just as some people with an overly hectic social life may be longing for a period of solitude to get their thoughts back in order, the same goes for an INFJ experiencing loneliness.
They can easily look at the life of a social butterfly and think “Maybe I’m restricting myself from a lifestyle that would be more beneficial to me.” However, once the time comes that they do have social obligations, it’s no surprise that the INFJ will be stuck longing for their beloved solitude once again.
5. Acknowledge who you are now
When the INFJ personality type is feeling lost or despaired, everything can change with the simple question of ‘who am I right now, in this period of my life’. With such a correlation with their outside environments and relationships, INFJs can often feel lost when their outside identity has been too stagnant or altered.
This could be anything from working an unfulfilling position for too long or losing the job completely.. Finding a new connection or removing themselves from a relationship.. Or even something like moving homes or cities.
When the INFJ, who is normally much more focused on their inner thoughts, begins to feel their outside identity being changed, it can make them question a lot about themselves.
So, when you’re feeling lost as an INFJ, remind yourself that if you stayed the same person year after year, life would get extremely boring, and it’s okay to be in the process of creating a new ‘you’, that differs considerably from who you used to be.
6. Don’t get too comfortable
With a grand understanding of just how precious life is, INFJs are always trying to make the most out of their present and future moments. Planning, trialing and trying new things are all crucial in their eyes when it comes to making this life fulfilling.
However, all of these crucial points become foggy amidst pending inspiration. And so, sometimes all an INFJ really needs to do when they’re feeling rather uncertain of their next move is to just remind themselves to not get too comfortable.
There’s nothing wrong with spending some time embracing the feeling of the unknown, but the longer they relish in feelings of unknowingness and lack of drive, the more difficult it becomes to remember a life where they felt like themselves.
So, by allowing themselves to take their uncertainty day by day, while also avoiding any of their own emotional negativity to bring them down, INFJs can easily reinvent themselves in the process.
7. Spice it up
Speaking of staying too comfortable, the INFJ doesn’t only desire newness, but they actually require a continuous uptake of new observations for their cognitive functions to properly do their job.
This personality type actually understands not only the world, but also themselves and other people, through these complex cognitive abilities. To put it simply, their extroverted feeling and sensing functions act by absorbing facts, observations, energies, and emotions from their outer environments in order for their introverted intuition to file and process.
With this information, the INFJ easily picks up on patterns that allow them an accurate view of potential future outcomes. These are the outcomes they use to move forward in life. And these are the outcomes that are absent when they feel lost. And so, there's nothing better for an INFJ to do than to experience new things.
Whether it’s becoming inspired by a new book, watching a film, going to a different coffee shop, or even taking a different route to work.. The smallest and most insignificant environmental influences can fire up their intuitive voice. So, are you really lost or just due for a little spicing up? And.. last but not least,
8. Keep on, keeping on
The worst thing any INFJ can do in times of feeling uncertain about their direction in life is to give up on themselves. Self-criticizing and procrastination can easily get the best of this personality type on a good day, so when they’re already feeling unstable, it can make matters considerably worse.
Oftentimes when INFJs feel lonely or lost, it’s not only their self-esteem that takes a hit, but also their overall vigor for life. Without future plans and projections, the INFJ’s innate cognitive functions even feel out of whack.
The most difficult part of it all is that this lack of motivation can leak into all areas of their life including mental health, self care and productivity, which can lead to further feelings of despair.
So, to avoid this downward spiral as an INFJ, it’s best to keep in mind that these feelings are temporary and should never take away their feelings of self-worth. And as uncomfortable for them as it may be, it may be best to just continue trekking on with no future predictions insight.